Mindfulness: Improving Our Lives Out in the Streets and Between the Sheets

The reality is, most of us spend a lot of our days on autopilot, in a sort of repetitive fog, or doing what we might prefer to call multitasking. While typing an email, we open a tab to check our Amazon order, notice an alert that someone likes our Instagram post, and click over to scroll through the latest updates. We’re vaguely listening on our commute home, as our spouse recounts their day, tuning in and out as thoughts swirl around our head – considering dinner options, jotting down something we forgot at the store, remembering a phone call we need to make, planning our next vacation. All this shifting back and forth between tasks, jumping from thought to thought, and abundance of stimuli can cause us to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and grumpy.

The solution might be mindfulness.

Just as the performance of our phones suffers from running lots of applications at once, we can get overloaded by having too many tabs open – in our outer environment and our inner world. We need to close some of those programs and plug ourselves into the present moment to boost our productivity and our enjoyment of life.

Mindfulness is the practice of being truly present in this moment, using our senses to observe the here and now, and approaching what we find with openness and curiosity. Research has shown this ancient practice has stuck around for good reason – evidence proves it can reduce stress, anxiety, depression, worry, fatigue, conflict, and emotional outbursts; improve mood, sleep, memory, immune function, attention span, communication skills, and ability to focus; increase relationship satisfaction and enhance overall quality of life. 

And in the bedroom?

Mindfulness has been found to boost sexual satisfaction, reduce performance anxiety, increase desire, improve arousal issues, enhance feelings of intimacy and closeness between partners, reduce self-consciousness, improve self-esteem and body image, and even cause brain changes that lead to better orgasms. 

If you want a taste of the power of mindfulness, take this moment, and notice your feet. Feel them from inside your body. Become aware of the meeting point where your feet contact the ground. Can you observe any differences in sensations between your right and left foot? Now notice your breath, the way it flows in and out at the tip of your nose. Follow the breath and observe the way it moves your chest and belly. Now bring your attention to your eyes, and truly notice what you see in your environment. Notice different colors, shapes, and textures in the space around you. Bring your attention to your ears and observe the different sounds you’re picking up on right now. Can you distinguish between those that are near your body and those that seem more distant? Draw your awareness back to your breath and take a big inhale. Exhale completely and congratulate yourself by bringing a smile to your face. You just practiced a tool that can improve your body, brain, and relationships. 

Now if you really want to get wild, try it throughout your day. Pause at different intervals and notice what it feels like to be in your body. Bring attention to your skin and feel the different textures and temperatures that touch you. Notice what you can see, smell, hear, and taste. Observe your breath. Get really present and let the moment rise up to meet you.

Whether you’re out in the streets or between the sheets, mindfulness is a skill that has plenty of upsides. And if you want more personalized guidance, reach out to me.